My letter to my sick friend, Amy.

This is a letter I wrote to my friend to tell her to clean up her life before she ends up in a bad place.

"Amy,
  You are my friend.  We have been friends since 2005. We may not have met under the best circumstances, but we ended up kindred spirits of a like. I have seen you at some of the best times and at the worst. More so in recent years but then you've seen me in my worst times.  We both have our scars from the world. We both have been harmed, but I see you doing yourself more harm then good. I see you and I hurt inside. I feel myself empathizing what you must be feeling. The sadness, grief, sorrow, darkness that I see you falling into, surrounds me. I want more than anything to reach out, grab hold of you, and pull you out of this darkness. I want to take you away from it and keep you safe. But I know I can't. I can't do what I want to do because it won't solve the problem.
  There is no band-aide that I can put over your wound to allow it to heal. I can't take the drink out of your hand and throw away your liquor. I can't force you to make yourself better and to bring yourself out of the tailspin you are diving into. You think you are alone and that no one cares. You've think you can fix what is wrong on your own, without any help. What you don't realize is that you have been sitting in a pot of water that has been slowly heating up until now, you can't see that you are boiling to death.
 What hurts me the most, is the fear that because I can't make you better, is that I will lose you. That hurts me more than anything. I have held you in my arms and held you in my heart.  I care for you beyond love, beyond family and beyond friendship. I care about you Amy."

Over the last 2 weeks she has been in the hospital for liver and kidney problems. She is now in the ICU. The doctors have given her 48 hrs. I'm posting it up because I didn't get to give it to her.  I'm going in to say goodbye to her tonight.
  I said a rosary prayer 2 days ago asking that I have this opportunity. I'm glad I was heard. I got to speak to her. She was going in and out of consciousness. I hope she heard me.

Don't wait to tell the people you love that they are hurting themselves. Because while your waiting for the right time, you may find that they are already gone.

Amy passed away Sunday June 17th 2012 shortly after 1AM. I was on my way to see her but she passed as I was trying to find parking. The worst part is, when I got to the room and looked at her with her eyes shut, I remembered a dream where I was looking down at her exactly the same way. I had this dream 3 years earlier. I told her about it when she was still healthy. She told me that I was being over-dramatic.