Coyote and RoadRunner - Zoom and Bored (14.09.1957)

I was just thinking about it as I was watching some the Road Runner/Coyote cartoons and couldn't help but notice the similarities to the dating world. The road runner seems to symbolize the woman (free and on the run) and the coyote (in constant pursuit), using anything in his arsenal to capture his prey. Very much a symbol of Human Courting Rituals. A.K.A. Dating. Men pursuing women endlessly and always, no matter what the man does, she always slips from his grasp.
  Now don't misunderstand what I mean. I'm not saying that men are just after women because they are succulent birds of prey that we wish to devour entirely leaving nothing but feathers and bones, NO, no, no, no, no, N. O. NO! What I mean is the pursuit of women is very, Very, VERY! similar.


  Seriously, if you really look at the emphasis there is on the coyote using so many contraptions and devices and unique things to try and capture, distract or entrap the road runner, it is very similar to the kinds of techniques men will employ in order to get a woman's attention and pursue.  And many times the woman simply flashers her tail and in her own way goes "MEEP MEEP" and vanishes in a dust-puff of makeup powder, perfume and lip gloss, which some I might add actually has names similar to food.


 In addition, there is great emphasis in the cartoon of the pain that Coyote goes through. Now don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that the woman puts the man through all the pain. I have three sisters and I know exactly how much pain and suffering goes into preparation before going out for the night and what it takes to maintain the looks.  What I'm saying is that women are always making statements about the hurt and pain that a woman goes through in a relationship. How often do you hear about the men's side of the equation??    Many times women, drama queens that they are.......And you know you are when it comes to your dating, gloss over the fact that men get hurt just as much as women do.  When a man is rejected by a woman, they don't really realize the kind of pain and hurt they just caused the man.  Which really some do not deserve. I know, I know there are plenty of Douche-bag men out there! BELIEVE ME I know! Most of which are in positions of power. But some men are really just looking to have a nice time with a woman. Hoping he presents himself enough that she will see he isn't the douche-y kind of guy many women think most men are.


  But hey, I'm not saying that all women are like that, because I know they aren't. Seriously, I know there are millions of loving, caring wonderful women out there that are just looking for a guy to love them. Unfortunately, guys see too many Road Runner women whose only interested is the game of pursuit and watching the guy slam on the pavement as he falls from a cliff. 
   Huh? Funny Women think men are Dogs....Coyote's.  So that makes women Road Runners. WOW! Michael Maltese and Chuck Jones really knew their stuff.

The Funniest Chilli Contest Ever

From Facebook Notes by Tj Shields on Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 5:35pm

The Funniest Chilli Contest Ever

I didn't write it but I was laughing at it :)


If you can read this whole story without laughing, then there's no hope for you. I was crying by the end. This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico.


Note: Take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better.
For those of you who have lived in New Mexico, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza.
Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chile taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL. Frank: 'Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. 




Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 - MIKE'S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy crap, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.




CHILI # 2 - EL RANCHO'S AFTERBURNER CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw he look on my face.


CHILI # 3 - ALFREDO'S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.


CHILI #4 BUBBA'S BLACK MAGIC
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT ... just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?


CHILI # 5 - LISA'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw them.


CHILI # 6 - VARGA'S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 - SUSAN'S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing. It's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 - BIG TOM'S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 -- No report