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Monday, April 2, 2012

A Stand Against "Bully"ing.

I was bullied through all of Grammer school, Junior High and High School.


 It effects your whole life. 


 It never leaves you.


The scars are permanent. 


Never healing, always hurting.


 It MUST STOP!


http://action.thebullyproject.com/takeastand

I finished watch the new independent film "Bully". It brought a whole lot of old scars to the surface. There isn't a day goes by, that I don't remember a time in my life when I was bullied.  I don't try to remember those moments. They just spring into my head. I try to shake them out. But they sit there, reminding me of what I learned that particular day.  People will do anything to make themselves feel bigger/better then you.
 
  Parents don't always know when their kids are being bullied. This is because the kids are embarrassed to tell their parents. The parents that do know the kids being bullied will address the school to do something about it. The school then takes the bully aside and punishes them. The punishment will consist of a lecture, contact the parents, and a warning. The bully retaliates by not only bullying the kid again, but worse for getting them in trouble. The kid then reports it and the punishment stiffens.  On a social standing, the kid who was bullied will then be ostracized by his classmates for telling on the bully. This then leads to additional ridicule and belittlement.
  Now the kids who don't tell on the bully and suffer in silence, these are usually the ones that take it for so long that they finally blow up in rage against the bully or someone who finally pushes them too far.  This will usually end up with the kid being bullied to end up being disciplined for standing up for himself.  The other result rather then blowing up at someone is them internally giving up. This can lead to destructive behavior on themselves; isolation, cutting, mental disorders, depression, and suicide.

  In many ways, bullying is the result of prejudice and bigotry as much as simply wanting to blame someone for problems at home. At the ages of 5-19, kids are just learning who they are in the world and are open to multiple influences and ideas.  There are conflicting issues from home and the world around them. They try to stand behind something because they want to be part of something that others are part of and want to be accepted.  Many times they don't even realize that what they are doing is wrong, because no one told them it was or it was acceptable behavior at home. When they are confronted they either respond as they would at home or they accept that they need to change.
  This is not always as simple as I have stated. Teachers must deal with this on a daily basis.  Parents are not their to see what is going on and many times are completely blind until they hear it from their kids or from the school.
  This is also not always received in a constructive way. Parents will lash out at the school or a the other parents and it doesn't solve the problem but makes it worse.  Violence can issue and you end up with police involvement and negative controversy tarnishing the schools and making it difficult for them to function or control the resulting back-lash.

  In the end, almost nothing is done to curb bullying. Yes, some schools have policies against it, but  that doesn't mean that all schools do.  The sad thing is that the teachers don't want to allow this to happen. They don't want to see the kids being bullied or treated this way. But what can they do?  If they discipline the kid and hold them accountable, the parents of the bully then make a case against the school because the bully will deny that they did anything. The worst is that because of the steady decline of our school systems and the lack of ability for the teachers to keep discipline in the classroom, bullying is allowed to run, unchecked!  How are your kids going to be protected if the schools don't have the resources to protect them.
  If the bullying problem is ever going to be rectified, Teachers need to be able to discipline the kids in the classroom. The punishments for misbehavior and harassment or bullying need to be more strict and unmovable.
  When the schools are given the funds and means to hold those responsible for bullying, as well as curb it before it starts, only then will it truly end. But until the schools get the support they so desperately need, bullying will never stop and more kids will go through life feeling like that are worthless. If they are the ones lucky enough to not commit suicide.


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