This is my first blog and I'm using this to voice my opinion off of the normal access of my life. This isn't connected with the mainstream of my life as to protect my opinions from friends and employers
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Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Funny Dog Lover Joke
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked
down the street, the one with the Doberman Said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, butthought,"What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog"
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said,
"A Chihuahua? They gave me a f.....g Chihuahua ?!"
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Coyote and RoadRunner - Zoom and Bored (14.09.1957)
I was just thinking about it as I was watching some the Road Runner/Coyote cartoons and couldn't help but notice the similarities to the dating world. The road runner seems to symbolize the woman (free and on the run) and the coyote (in constant pursuit), using anything in his arsenal to capture his prey. Very much a symbol of Human Courting Rituals. A.K.A. Dating. Men pursuing women endlessly and always, no matter what the man does, she always slips from his grasp.
Now don't misunderstand what I mean. I'm not saying that men are just after women because they are succulent birds of prey that we wish to devour entirely leaving nothing but feathers and bones, NO, no, no, no, no, N. O. NO! What I mean is the pursuit of women is very, Very, VERY! similar.
Seriously, if you really look at the emphasis there is on the coyote using so many contraptions and devices and unique things to try and capture, distract or entrap the road runner, it is very similar to the kinds of techniques men will employ in order to get a woman's attention and pursue. And many times the woman simply flashers her tail and in her own way goes "MEEP MEEP" and vanishes in a dust-puff of makeup powder, perfume and lip gloss, which some I might add actually has names similar to food.
In addition, there is great emphasis in the cartoon of the pain that Coyote goes through. Now don't get me wrong! I'm not saying that the woman puts the man through all the pain. I have three sisters and I know exactly how much pain and suffering goes into preparation before going out for the night and what it takes to maintain the looks. What I'm saying is that women are always making statements about the hurt and pain that a woman goes through in a relationship. How often do you hear about the men's side of the equation?? Many times women, drama queens that they are.......And you know you are when it comes to your dating, gloss over the fact that men get hurt just as much as women do. When a man is rejected by a woman, they don't really realize the kind of pain and hurt they just caused the man. Which really some do not deserve. I know, I know there are plenty of Douche-bag men out there! BELIEVE ME I know! Most of which are in positions of power. But some men are really just looking to have a nice time with a woman. Hoping he presents himself enough that she will see he isn't the douche-y kind of guy many women think most men are.
But hey, I'm not saying that all women are like that, because I know they aren't. Seriously, I know there are millions of loving, caring wonderful women out there that are just looking for a guy to love them. Unfortunately, guys see too many Road Runner women whose only interested is the game of pursuit and watching the guy slam on the pavement as he falls from a cliff.
Huh? Funny Women think men are Dogs....Coyote's. So that makes women Road Runners. WOW! Michael Maltese and Chuck Jones really knew their stuff.
Labels:
bird,
coyote,
dating,
funny,
makeup,
Men,
perfume,
prey,
pursuit,
relationships,
road runner,
Women
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Since when did inline skates dictate your sexual preference?
I've been riding on inline skates since I was about 11 years old. I love it! It took me several years to get as good as I am on them and I absolutely love riding on them. And I can tell you I don't do it for exercise. If I had known about Aggressive Inline when I was in High School I would have been ALL over it. Next to driving with the windows down on the expressway going 65MPH, it is the best way I know to get a nice adrenaline rush. Especially at the speeds I'm capable of. Now when I say I can get high speeds I'm not just talking under my own power. I'm talking about finding a very VERY steep hill and just tucking my legs under me and flying. You think downhill skiing is a rush? You haven't tried inline skating on a steep hill traveling over 30 MPH and the only thing between you and a nasty fall on concrete is your legs and luck.
Now that I have gone to great lengths to inform you on my love of inline skating...can someone tell me why that makes me a faggot?
Seriously, I don't understand where the hatred and disgust comes from when I roll down the street and I have grown men in SUV's (in upper class neighborhoods) stopping in front of a park full of kids and in his loudest voice calling out, "NICE SKATES FAGGOT!"
Can someone please explain it to me? I don't see where it comes from. I'm not yelling at people or making rude comments at people or knocking people off the street or trying to force my views on others. I'm simply enjoying a ride and I even go out of my way to avoid people so they don't think I'm hogging the road/sidewalk. I'm not even dressed inappropriately. I'm wearing a plain t-shirt, cargo shorts and a helmet. How is that offensive??
I'm not asking for much am I? A simple explanation to why people hate inline skaters.
Now that I have gone to great lengths to inform you on my love of inline skating...can someone tell me why that makes me a faggot?
Seriously, I don't understand where the hatred and disgust comes from when I roll down the street and I have grown men in SUV's (in upper class neighborhoods) stopping in front of a park full of kids and in his loudest voice calling out, "NICE SKATES FAGGOT!"
Can someone please explain it to me? I don't see where it comes from. I'm not yelling at people or making rude comments at people or knocking people off the street or trying to force my views on others. I'm simply enjoying a ride and I even go out of my way to avoid people so they don't think I'm hogging the road/sidewalk. I'm not even dressed inappropriately. I'm wearing a plain t-shirt, cargo shorts and a helmet. How is that offensive??
I'm not asking for much am I? A simple explanation to why people hate inline skaters.
Labels:
Adrenaline,
Downhill Skiing,
faggot,
Inline Skate,
Rollerblade,
sex,
SUV
Location:
Oak Park, IL, USA
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Ryan Dunn's death and Roger Ebert
Just heard about fight between Facebook and ROGER EBERT. Dude, seriously?! Are we back in High School now? Ever hear of the First Amendment? He can give his view, even if it's in bad taste and he shouldn't be treated like that. He's a Entertainment Columnists for crying-out-loud!
Monday, June 13, 2011
This has been a most interesting day.
I woke up this morning with a pretty fair idea of what I needed to do. I have a shift at work and then my afternoon was open. My girlfriend drove home after I left and arrived safely. So one good thing. I went into work with a pretty good feeling.
Now just for the record to clarify my good feeling, let me cover this past week. Last weekend (June 4-5) I had the AVON Walk for Breast Cancer. This is my fifth time walking in the event and the 3rd time I walked the entire distance of 39 miles (26 miles on Saturday, 15 miles on Sunday). Now, in the past I have trained for this event over a 3 month period. Unfortunately I wasn't able to train as hard as usually do because of complications with work and free-time. So as a result my lack of training for the walk caused me to get a very painful case of Shin Splints. After the walk I had one day of rest (Monday) before I had to start back to work. Since my primary income came from my job at the Studios, I have had to find alternative income to fill the gap left by the lack of shifts because the Studio is no longer able to employ me. I currently am a seasonal Bartender at 2 locations both of which work me about 3-4 times a week, usually ranging in 5hrs to 8hrs each shift. Usually I get a day of rest between to two but unfortunately this wasn't the case. My calender had me working Tuesday thru Saturday going back and forth between the two places and to add to it my Shin Splints continued to affect my ability to work efficiently.
Personally, I find the manager of one of my seasonal jobs to be inadequate for managing the events held there. This facility is a member based club and the manager makes a greater effort to please the members rather then his employees well-being. Just this past Friday we had a large event that I was asked to work. Originally I was just supposed to have a evening shift which I'm happy to do, but because the manger got a special request from the members and he's unwilling to hire enough people to work the events without double booking employees. I had to work a 12 hr shift. Ordinarily I wouldn't have a problem working this because it's good money. But I was working injured and what made the situation worse is that I started at 11AM and didn't stop till 11PM and I only ate when I had breakfast at my house before I left. I was given no break for a meal and rest during the day as well as two other employees. Several times during the last few hrs of the event I almost passed out. The only food I was able to have was some maraschino cherries from the bar.
So based on this info, I'm walking into the club on Monday expecting the manager to be running whatever event is going on, which to say the least made me nervous.
So I get inside and start setting up the bar for the event. The servers and other bartender arrive and we all set up the banquet room for the event. From what I got from the other servers and the chef was that it was a charity/scholarship event run by the local town, but what was problematic is that the manager was no where to be found. He was supposed to be running the party but rather then briefing us and instructing us on how to run the party as well as informing the servers what tables they would be responsible for, he never showed up until right before the event and then still gave us no instructions. It fell to one of the bartenders to contact him BY CELL PHONE, which employees aren't supposed to use while on duty, in order to get the details.
I was shocked and couldn't figure out how he was justifying having this event at the club and then not even taking the responsibility to be at the event making sure everything went the way it should.
Thankfully we were able to have everything run smoothly but I just couldn't believe what he was doing. IF something had gone wrong it could have been disastrous and worst of all we knew we would get the blame instead of him.
So after I left, I headed home and decided to relax and rest my leg because it was twitching pain about an hour after I started working, meaning that it still wasn't healed. I changed out of my uniform, sat on the couch and turned on the TV. But the TV didn't turn on. It made the sound of turning on but then would turn off again. I tried again and again and it still wouldn't turn on. I checked the manual for this kind of problem in the troubleshooting and sure enough it means that the TV needs servicing. Well I have had this TV for 5 years and no warranty is on it. What is ironic is that just yesterday my GF and I planned on getting me a new 37" LCD TV to replace this one but we put it off because of my leg. GOOD GRIEF! What a way to start the week.
But when you think about it, this isn't really that bad. There are people around the world with really bigger problems then this. So yes the world isn't perfect and everyone has bad days, but really if you look at how your day is going and you think it's bad.......stop and think about this; IT COULD BE A WHOLE FUCKING LOT WORSE!
BREAKING NEWS: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of "SUCK IT UP" and "MOVE ON" and crashed into "WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS" before coming to a complete stop at "GET THE HELL OVER IT!!!!
Now just for the record to clarify my good feeling, let me cover this past week. Last weekend (June 4-5) I had the AVON Walk for Breast Cancer. This is my fifth time walking in the event and the 3rd time I walked the entire distance of 39 miles (26 miles on Saturday, 15 miles on Sunday). Now, in the past I have trained for this event over a 3 month period. Unfortunately I wasn't able to train as hard as usually do because of complications with work and free-time. So as a result my lack of training for the walk caused me to get a very painful case of Shin Splints. After the walk I had one day of rest (Monday) before I had to start back to work. Since my primary income came from my job at the Studios, I have had to find alternative income to fill the gap left by the lack of shifts because the Studio is no longer able to employ me. I currently am a seasonal Bartender at 2 locations both of which work me about 3-4 times a week, usually ranging in 5hrs to 8hrs each shift. Usually I get a day of rest between to two but unfortunately this wasn't the case. My calender had me working Tuesday thru Saturday going back and forth between the two places and to add to it my Shin Splints continued to affect my ability to work efficiently.
Personally, I find the manager of one of my seasonal jobs to be inadequate for managing the events held there. This facility is a member based club and the manager makes a greater effort to please the members rather then his employees well-being. Just this past Friday we had a large event that I was asked to work. Originally I was just supposed to have a evening shift which I'm happy to do, but because the manger got a special request from the members and he's unwilling to hire enough people to work the events without double booking employees. I had to work a 12 hr shift. Ordinarily I wouldn't have a problem working this because it's good money. But I was working injured and what made the situation worse is that I started at 11AM and didn't stop till 11PM and I only ate when I had breakfast at my house before I left. I was given no break for a meal and rest during the day as well as two other employees. Several times during the last few hrs of the event I almost passed out. The only food I was able to have was some maraschino cherries from the bar.
So based on this info, I'm walking into the club on Monday expecting the manager to be running whatever event is going on, which to say the least made me nervous.
So I get inside and start setting up the bar for the event. The servers and other bartender arrive and we all set up the banquet room for the event. From what I got from the other servers and the chef was that it was a charity/scholarship event run by the local town, but what was problematic is that the manager was no where to be found. He was supposed to be running the party but rather then briefing us and instructing us on how to run the party as well as informing the servers what tables they would be responsible for, he never showed up until right before the event and then still gave us no instructions. It fell to one of the bartenders to contact him BY CELL PHONE, which employees aren't supposed to use while on duty, in order to get the details.
I was shocked and couldn't figure out how he was justifying having this event at the club and then not even taking the responsibility to be at the event making sure everything went the way it should.
Thankfully we were able to have everything run smoothly but I just couldn't believe what he was doing. IF something had gone wrong it could have been disastrous and worst of all we knew we would get the blame instead of him.
So after I left, I headed home and decided to relax and rest my leg because it was twitching pain about an hour after I started working, meaning that it still wasn't healed. I changed out of my uniform, sat on the couch and turned on the TV. But the TV didn't turn on. It made the sound of turning on but then would turn off again. I tried again and again and it still wouldn't turn on. I checked the manual for this kind of problem in the troubleshooting and sure enough it means that the TV needs servicing. Well I have had this TV for 5 years and no warranty is on it. What is ironic is that just yesterday my GF and I planned on getting me a new 37" LCD TV to replace this one but we put it off because of my leg. GOOD GRIEF! What a way to start the week.
But when you think about it, this isn't really that bad. There are people around the world with really bigger problems then this. So yes the world isn't perfect and everyone has bad days, but really if you look at how your day is going and you think it's bad.......stop and think about this; IT COULD BE A WHOLE FUCKING LOT WORSE!
BREAKING NEWS: The Pity Train has just derailed at the intersection of "SUCK IT UP" and "MOVE ON" and crashed into "WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS" before coming to a complete stop at "GET THE HELL OVER IT!!!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Observations today
You know what makes me smile and reminds me that I am smart. Seeing people walking around on a stormy rainy day wearing sandal's. If they only knew that it's not water squishing between their toes, its a ton of disgusting things. It's Dog poop, garbage, rotten food, oil, gas, vomit, human excrement and everything else that someone had dropped on the ground, someone else stepped on then it rolled around in the rest of the garbage, dried up and then was caught up in the rain and washed into your feet. Enjoy that image. And what makes me feel even better is that most of these people will get home tonight and just get right into bed without washing their feet. YUCK! But I was smart and wore shoes. Because I like my feet. :)
Driving in to work today I realized something listening to the commercials, Chevy has been advertising for their Cruze car, Malibu, Equinox and Camero. Yet I haven't seen or heard a single commercial for the Chevrolet Volt. In fact, when was the last time you saw any GM company advertise a Green or electric/hybrid car on TV or radio. GM supports the green effort......Yeah right, like hell they are. :( And people wonder why "Who Killed the Electric Car" is a popular movie.
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